Spiritual Warfare

Had a little lecture with my kids on this little topics that seems negligible but it is part of our daily life as Christain...

I would not say I'm an expert in this area... But this thing comes very obvious every time we are running our annual camp, every time when we are able to gather so many of our members and giving them spiritual input...

Worry about those kids of mine who are not aware of this and obviously they are being attracted in one way or another...

Remaining as a sinner myself... I'm praying for God's grace and mercy upon me and my kids that the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ is protecting us... Amen

My sixth CSS annual camp as an advisor

I understand very well that these are God's will...

As usual, challenges have not fail to make themselves to my door way... This year, new stuff have taken place... The most striking events are non other than the 2 injuries of Vincent and Ferris. Vincent was chased by dogs in the campus and he fall down and injured himself... Now walking like a cripple man. Ferris went back to Penang and met an accident where his injury is 4 to 5 times more severe than that of Vincent's.

I knew that the devil has never fail to knock on our door every year when the annual camp is around the corner. Surprisingly I am very calm this year and most of the stuff are left to the hands of the excos... My job is to continue to pray for them that the precious blood of Christ is covering on all of us... Yes, Lord. Here I am Lord. I knew these happened with your permission.

Thank God for the support of the seniors. Thanks to Jonathan that came by to pay us a visit and had a chat with me. Thanks to Jeremiah who stays with me that I have an avenue to air out anything that goes on in this entire journey of preparation. Thanks to Emily who were with me prior to all this... With that long chat at mamak. Thanks to Nicholas and Aaron for your companionship. God sent you all to me that I don't feel I'm alone. Thanks to the more active participation of Cecilia and some of the burden were shared away. Thanks to Kar Keng that is willing to listen to my sharing even he is away from Malaysia... Thanks to all my GL companions for the power of your prayer... Your presence are always hearty felt...

My kids are growing up... Someone asked me why am I not scolding as much this year... Well, perhaps I've grown older that I'm more ready to accept imperfections. Perhaps I've grown wiser through all these years of experiences that I'm able to back up more so to being not so anxious on problems... Perhaps some of them are too green to be scolded, they didn't have much experience and they had tried their best...

But one thing for sure... My physical condition is that that does not allow me to coop with so much of long hours working with them and I need better and more proper sleep compared to who I was before. I felt so sorry to them but I must face with the reality.

I always ask God and I ask myself... How many more years can I coop... The answer is obvious... Till the day God calls me to do something else.

Yes... New challenges are coming my way...

No prizes for guessing... Challenges will never stop to come my way...

At first I have a Ferris that was too optimistic over everything... It is really an effort to highlight to him that it is still a long way to go...

And then I was overwhelmed with the number of participants that we have... Can we handle all of them? Do we have enough freshies? Most senior couldn't make it this round... I somehow felt quite alone although I comprehend that we should put more emphasis on the new members and indeed we did... There are too many uncertainties going on in my mind...well, as usual...

I know nothing about the speaker ... How is he going to feed my sheeps ... I can only surrender...

And then I have a Rebecca that I sometimes don't really know how to calm her down when issues happen...

Sadly, Vincent was chased by dogs in the campus, fall down and injured himself... Thank God that Alex was with him...In feel so guilty to have my kids working things out at campus in the late night like this... But do I really have a choice...???

I have many other stuff to settle but I can't leave my kids struggling just like that...

Sometimes I really wonder, for how long more does God wanted to put me into this very position? It's been 6 years... But then when I think about it... It is all these years of being with them that I can take so many things at one time nowadays...

Sometimes too much of noises really boost up my frustrations but I have to admit that it does cheer up certain parties in the crowd... But where do we strike a balance???

What I can do is to continue to trust in the hand of The Lord... I can't survive without Him...

好久不见

就近的这一个假期没回家却在KL见了许多好久不见的老朋友。。。其中包括华庆，志鸿，Elaine，大姐，婉秋，召泓。。。很多个拥抱，很多个说不完！

还有很多人找我吃饭，有何师父，Panda，Thomas及 Ah Hock。。。

好像生命中不同阶段的朋友都一一出现。。。突然怀疑自己是不是即将死去？

Travel back home from Subang

I woke up at 6am at a hotel at Subang and when down for an awesome breakfast... I left the hotel at 7.45am and I painfully got myself out of Subang in a massive congestion and then rolling my wheel slowly at Federal Highway...

I could really drive through beginning from KLCC and got back to Setapak at 9.30am... And I was so exhausted...

I can't imagine myself if I have to start my day everyday in this manner... I really salute those students and colleagues who has to travel from far or even further everyday like that...

That got that I had my work place, study place and my church near by my residence... 

Come on... It's just a haircut...

It is always a habit since young that I always go to the same hairstylist. I always perceive that hair cut is something very personal and it is always not pleasant to have different people touching my head. Well, this is just me.

Because of this practice that I adopt,it is always a headache whenever there is a closure of the saloon or whenever my hairstylist is changing profession or location. And this normally happens every 3 to 5 years. And whenever this happens, I'll be like a lost sheep looking for a shepherd... I lost my way for I trust no one else.

No prizes for guessing, this happen again today. As I parked my car in front of the saloon... I saw renovation in the saloon. When I called my hairstylist, he told me that he is taking a break and not sure when is he going to resume in business but it will definitely be some where else...

Oh God... I almost burst into tears on the street... Then as I walked across the street... I simply closed my eyes and enters another saloon... Yes, I'm looking for another place to belong to...

After all these reflections, I realized that the source of the problem is my attitude and my refusal for changes. It has became a prison for me that I have to always bear in mind the off day of my hair stylist.

I told myself to let go... It is just a haircut and I will always have another one in another few weeks time. Life is complicated enough and why should I complicate it further with such a tiny little stuff? Yes... I want to free myself!!

Ng 

慌

受到这个消息。。。我不知这么回应。。。

有如往常一样，天南地北，交换了许多心事和秘密，但被打碎的这一块既然很快得被我不知道丢去哪里？

回到家里，我迟迟不进门，在屋外一直毫无目的在按电话。。。我在慌些什么？

那些破碎了的心情慢慢的跑了出来，我刹那间忘了刚刚的几小时我是怎样的坦然渡过。。。我需要一个拥抱和一个倾诉的对象。。。想了想，我凭什么？

在乎 vs 存在

有些人说，把你当成好朋友，不知这是件好事、还是坏事。。。

我的FB post 和 Instagram 常常有很多人来 like。。。坦白说，有一部份的人，我不太清楚他们是谁。。。但至少，在我很想要被关怀时，我突然会发现到，有一群（也许我没有真正在乎过的）人，一直在我周遭围绕。。。反之，一些我很在乎的人，从来没有给过任何反应。。。

到底谁比较重要？ 存在而不太被在乎的；还是在乎而不太存在的？

我可以的，只要我相信！

很多事情好像一顆从天而坠的大石头，一次过压下来，让人不知所措，不知要从哪里从新开始。不过，很肯定的一点就是人生将从一个刚刚调适过来的适应期，进入一个更凌乱、更有挑战性的适应期。

多方位的挑战多得让我想投降。。。不是不愿意前进，只是想放缓脚步。。。 眼前的时间及周遭人的要求，让这一切刹那间变成了奢侈。

有时在想，是否可以活的平凡些？但许多事，选择并不在自己手里。

唯一比较欣慰的是，这一切的一切都是准备自己去站好自己的岗位，去让自己成为更好的自己。。。

我可以的，只要我相信！

今天的弥撒超感动的。。。因为是要理主日，特地安排了主日学的小朋友们担任歌咏团。。。

那股儿音唱出来的歌曲，好清脆，好无邪。。。唱出跟天主的关系之间，不存有一丝杂念，每一个音符都让我热泪满眶。它带给我医治，告诉我人与天主之间根本没有那么复杂。谢谢咏涵的带领，她真的长大了。

感谢胡神父又再一次的为我们主祭今天的弥撒。。。每当有他，我们领圣体前的祷文都会用唱的；比起平时用念的，那股领圣体前的忏悔跟心中对天主圣体的渴望发挥的更是淋漓尽致。。。阿肋路亚！

It has been a long time since I first considered having a blog. Well, writing blogs seems so not my era. I used to say that people who are writing blogs are people who do not have close friends around. But then as I aged, I realised there are not as many people who wish to sit down and hear what is deep within me, or those that is willing to spend time to lend me an ear or a shoulder are either too busy or they are at a distance. I am painfully learning to find myself as my best friend. Yes, this was my initial thought.

Somehow, after some time, I came to realise that God is putting me at a station that I’m able to live along with many young people. Perhaps I should really enjoy what I have while I’m still having them around. I believe that God granted me with many wonderful and colourful life experiences that are worthy to be recorded and may be to be shared around. Of course, I still acknowledge that I’m a unique creation of God and He has a purpose for my existence.

People whom know me well should have known that my standard has not gone as far as I could comfortably activate a blog all by myself. I want to thank my eldest son Nicholas for all his effort that I could blog without any much headache.

Well, as I came back from a retreat last weekend, I felt recharged and regenerated emotionally, mentally, intellectually and spiritually. I strongly think feel that life ought to be a total refresh nowadays. All the best to me.

John 10:10 – I come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.