Went to the Life in Spirit Seminar organized by a bunch of friends in my parish tonight. I don't know why. this time I felt the calling from God so much that not only I need to attend but my kids as well. It happened so well that our camp is postponed and we are able to take some times in the midst of the preparation. I knew... He planned all this... And from the past two weeks I felt that God has been preparing me for this slowly stage by stage. By chances, I got to reflect so much about my life especially in this past 7 years. It was not only memories and intellectual understanding but much more of an emotional and even to spiritual healing. Yes, it all started two weeks ago.
As I was praying tonight, He led me into a whole hearted community worship. He drew me back to those days where I will try my best to attend prayer meeting every week.
These few years, due to many reasons, from unpleasant feelings for the community, busy work schedule, concentration on my kids to laziness and weather... I have not really attended one. I did of course leading in many worship sessions but due to the fact that I'm also the pianist, I did not let go of myself completely into deep worship. Those that were conducted by my kids were either not as good (sorry to say), well most of them are just beginners... or most of the time I need to do observation in order to help them to improve. I used to think that I have prayed very well in it but after tonight I realized... I didn't. Of course, this is so far as the community prayer is concern where it has nothing to do with my solitude at my personal time.
Those days of living in the prayer meeting, when I look at it today... were overwhelming... They were like throwing a buffet feast every week where my spirit were filled to the fullest at all times. When I compare my involvements in this kind of community prayers, I suddenly felt a drop in the contact with the divine (of course it is only this part of prayer life that is concern). Of course consciously i knew and I kept convincing myself that this is just another experience (which is true) and I'm going to make a change sooner or later... Well,,, perhaps I did (slowly but surely)... But after the spiritual touch tonight I came to realized that I have been consuming roti canai for 7 years and slowly getting well settled with it... I didn't say it was bad but the urge for the spiritual touch was watered down. But the positice side of it was of course... My faith is sustainable without all this for 7 years and of course God touched me in many different ways...And I was able to see Him else where...
I didn't mean to say that I'm falling a part because of this... I just never knew I miss it so much... LSS of course is not the only way to the divine but it is definitely one of the good ways to spark me up and I forgot that I love it so much...
